15 Symptoms of “Nice Guy Syndrome”
As a recovering Nice Guy, trust me when I say, “Nice Guys are THE WORST.”
The Nice Guy Syndrome represents a belief that if Nice Guys are “good,” they will be loved, get their needs met, and live a problem-free life. When this life strategy fails to produce the desired results — as it often does — Nice Guys usually just try harder, doing more of the same. Due to the sense of helplessness and resentment this pattern inevitably produces, Nice Guys are often anything but nice.
-Dr. Robert Glover, No More Mr. Nice Guy
Nice Guys work hard to curate an image of being giving, selfless, and concerned with the needs and wants of others. They believe that if they are nice, they’ll be rewarded for their niceness with sex from women, promotions at work, acknowledgment from strangers, and praise from their parents.
Underneath that Nice Guy facade is a fear that someday, someone might see what’s hidden underneath… and their deepest fears would be realized: That they are deeply insecure and they desperately need the approval and praise of others to validate that they are good and nice.
Because without that validation, they feel unworthy of love.
Ultimately, nice guys are the jerks they claim to hate… they’re just delusional and good at hiding from the world.
15 Symptoms of Nice Guy Syndrome
Now let’s get into the details. Here are some of the symptoms of Nice Guy Syndrome:
1. Nice Guys are dishonest
These men hide their imperfections and mistakes from the world. They avoid sharing their honest thoughts, opinions, feelings, or desires with others in order to make them happy in exchange for an unspoken favor down the road, or to avoid conflict. Instead of telling the truth, they say what they think others want to hear.
A common example of this is when a nice guy has an opinion on where to eat dinner, or what movie to go see, but rather than sharing their desires, they say, “Whatever you want, honey.” With the expectation that…