Preface: I feel it’s important to note that I consider myself a nuanced/progressive Church member. I wrote this article to create empathy and build bridges, not to harm or attack anyone’s faith.
Since I was a kid I’ve heard active members of the church complain that people, “Leave the church, but won’t leave it alone.”
In my experience, the phrase “They can’t leave it alone” was often used to demonstrate how lost, angry, and bitter “ex-Mormons” had become.
It hammered home the idea that we, the faithful members, were happy, at peace, and confident about our beliefs and salvation. And…
It’s a question I’ve been thinking about for a LONG time.
“Church leaders are imperfect and human…”
But does that mean they cannot (or should not) be held accountable for their actions?
Does that mean they shouldn’t be held to a higher standard?
And does that mean they are undeserving of correction or opposition when we believe they aren’t embodying their highest values?
Here’s how I like to look at it:
Anyone who serves in a leadership role in any capacity (inside or out of the church) is meant to embody the best of the King (or Queen) archetype.
I didn’t even realize how much anxiety was subtly wrecking my relationship until I read Dr. Kathleen Smith’s book, Everything Isn’t Terrible: Conquer Your Insecurities, Interrupt Your Anxiety, and Finally Calm Down.
Dr. Smith’s book helped me realize that I’ve developed extremely effective anxiety coping mechanisms that kept me confronting my insecurities and weaknesses head-on.
There are two problems with this.
Second, the things that make us anxious don’t…
Last year my wife had tears in her eyes as she watched The Mandalorian season one finale with me.
We just found out we’d had a miscarriage.
We had been trying to have a baby for a while, and the heartbreak of losing what we expected to be our first child was especially hard on my wife.
She was never a Star Wars fan, but she seemed to get a profound sense of comfort on a weekly basis watching “Baby Yoda” appear on our TV screen.
She grew attached to the little guy.
He seemed to fill part of the…
Stoicism is an ancient Greek philosophy designed to make the practitioner more resilient, happier, more virtuous, courageous, and wise.
Some of history’s greatest leaders were Stoics: Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius, George Washington, Theodore Roosevelst, and more recently, people like Arnold Schwarzenegger, Tom Brady, Bill Clinton, and prominent author Ryan Holiday.
The foundation of Stoicism is built on 4 virtues:
Courage — The ability to be brave
Temperance — The ability to practice moderation and self-control
Justice — Always doing what’s right, and dealing fairly with others
Wisdom — Truth and understanding
When practiced, these virtues help us remain focused on…
I was raised being TERRIFIED of porn.
Because porn is like a “drug.”
“It ruins marriages.”
“It ruins lives.”
I was told that if I looked at porn I might turn into a rapist.
Or at the very least, no woman would ever want to marry me.
My home state of Utah even declared porn a public health crisis… despite having a MASSIVE opioid problem, and some of the most polluted air in the nation.
Yet, despite all those warnings…
I looked at porn…
And it terrified me what people might think, say, or do if they found…
I just hung up the phone with a good friend of mine. I don’t think I’ve ever heard him so in love, or so excited.
He’s not married, but he’s dating this awesome girl. They’re early enough in their relationship that things are still fresh and exciting, but they’ve been together long enough that they can be transparent and honest with each other.
A few weeks ago this friend of mine (I’ll call him Bill) noticed that he kept interrupting his girlfriend while she was talking.
It wasn’t on purpose, he just got excited and would randomly interject something fun…
Do you think your husband is a narcissist?
When you first met him, he was extremely likable.
He was charismatic, charming, and flirtatious.
Everyone who met him immediately liked him… and you felt like the luckiest girl in the world that he chose you.
Then, over time, things started to change.
You started to notice that most of your conversations revolved around his needs, his wants, and his accomplishments.
He didn’t seem to care as much about what was going on in your life. He rarely asked you questions that allowed for any deep emotional connection.
Life was good as…
I hate working out…
My lungs burn. Sometimes I feel like puking. And the next day I’m sore.
…But I love the results of a strong body.
I hate cleaning the kitchen…
Getting the gunk off the dishes. Wiping down the countertops and sweeping the floors. Loading and emptying the dishwasher.
Nothing about any of that is fun for me.
… But I love the resulting feeling I get when my house is clean.
I hate going to the dentist…
The anxiety of whether or not I’ll have a cavity. Getting poked and prodded. Shots. Drilling. Pain. Slobber. …
Last week, New York Times bestselling author, Rachel Hollis, and her husband announced they are getting a divorce. (Here’s a link to the post.)
Why should you care?
Because whether you follow, admire, hate, or are completely oblivious to who the Hollises are, there are some lessons to be learned in their failed marriage that can help you avoid the same fate.
At the time I write this article, Rachel and Dave are arguably the most popular self-help couple on the planet right now.
Rachel has written two #1 New York Times bestselling books, Girl, Wash Your Face, and…